Yada, yada, yada...

I am – incredibly bitter and sarcastic… in a good way.
I know – way more than second graders.
I want – my mom to stop sending me e-mail forwards that send me to .com websites claiming to provide “truths” about Obama.
I have – an unnatural admiration for Neil Diamond.
I dislike – when parents continue shopping in public although their children are SCREAMING THEIR GUTS OUT. And, they just bounce them more vigorously.
I miss – my slanderous teaching cohort table (i.e. Gig). I feel – tired at 8:30 pm I hear – cats outside that can literally say the word mom. “Mmmoommm.” I HATE them.
I smell – ha. That one is funny on its own. I crave – pumpkin pie…all year.
I cry – when kids are misunderstood in movies and when I watch Extreme Home Makeover. Then, I cry because I am embarrassed.
I search – daily on factcheck.com to retaliate against my mother’s absurd e-mail forwards. I wonder – how long “The Man” has known how spooky plastic is. I TOTALLY remember watching the “Plastic Makes it Possible” commercials when I was younger and thinking “who has a problem with plastic?...so much of a problem that plastic needs PR. Weird.” Now, come to find out… “Plastic Makes it…Infertile.” Oops.
I regret – running (literally) away from a brave young man who dared to ask me to dance at our first 6th grade dance. That was CRAZY brave…and I didn’t help the situation any. Sorry, Monty.
I love – survival shows on the Discovery Channel. And, I love that I NEVER go outside…so it’s futile for me to be so interested in the information being given. I care – about America. Seriously. I worry – about how to react when people give me gifts. I LOVE anything…but give me a gift, and I get all nervous about how to properly show my gratitude. It makes me sick and nervous.
I remember – all the helping verbs because my 5th grade teacher was a genius. And, I can say them all in under 7 seconds. I believe - in science I argue – really well with people…after they walk away.
I write – with my left hand.I win – at scrabble.
I lose – at risk.
I wish – that parents got paid based on the success of their children in school.
I listen – to books on tape and love every minute of it. Now Playing: Sarah Vowel’s new book… Wordy Shipmates.
I am scared – of natural disasters. My predisposition to anxiety…combined with my upbringing…combined with watching too much 20/20 as a child has struck fear into my heart.
I need – my grant for Weekly Readers to be funded on DONORSCHOOSE.COM.
I forget – how old I am…seriously, I do the calculations often.
I am happy - that its fall…and sometimes the air feels like I’m on vacation in Jackson Hole or Zion National Park, but really I’m just walking on 5th Ave.

Skinny McThin, even I am amazed at the things I do for you.